Welcome to the 3 weeks mark. In a lot of ways, time has flown. This blog got really boring to update, really quickly :) Please see previous post, about what I do all day.
My mind set and point of view is constantly evolving. More and more I'm at peace with this process. I saw both of my doctors within the last week, and I think we're all in agreement that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm fairly comfortable with the fact that I should and will be on bed rest until the end of February (when I will reach the milestone of 25 weeks) and after that we'll see how it goes.
This week I got to meet my best friends' new baby: Woodson Wade Collins was born on Saturday. His parents were so sweet to make a house call with a newborn. He's tiny and perfect. It's been really fun to be pregnant with Jen (his mom), and it's equally fascinating to watch her enter Mom World. I feel like I'm standing on the threshold but I can't follow her in just yet. I'm really excited for our kids to grow up together.
I've gotten lots of great visits, food, care packages, books, and knitting supplies. If I'm bored, it's my own fault. Still, sometimes I catch myself staring out the window for long periods of time, cat-like. You might call it meditation. It's not as deliberate as that but certainly as restful.
When you stare out the window, do you focus on the movement of birds? Do your eyes dart? Do you feel like pouncing and sinking your teeth into one of those fragile, volatile creatures? If you did not answer an unmitigated "yes" to all three of those questions, you are not "cat" like. You are just staring off into space. What I'm interested in is just what you do think about. Are you floating off into some white space where even language recedes? Can you get to a point where you actually have no focus at all, no object upon which to gaze? If so, I envy you. I'd bet that those zen like moments are damn good for baby. You probably instill, at those moments, a deep Kate-like peace, a highly valuable personal asset in this world. Maybe it is also in "those deep staring out the window" moments that you commune with Danny's spirit. Danny, whose gaze is capable of understanding how engines work . . .
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting me riff. Love to you, Kate
Peter C
Danny understands engines? Seriously?
ReplyDelete